I Pick My Nose

Inside my nose lies my kind of treasure Each dig brings no gold, but a lot of pleasure Most times it's the right nostril that's clogged With the left side, when I blow out, I can whistle for the dog My girl and I used to be very close Until she caught me picking my nose with a pair of her panty hose When I pull out chunks of green and a lot of slime I feel like I committed the perfect crime Everyone is cautious with the ice, I grab it with my bare hands They all gag, not one of them undersatnds It's compulsion, something I have to do So don't get grossed out when I do it in front of you There are time at home that I use a vaccuum cleaner hose No matter where I am, private or public I still pick my nose On Thursday, we are having a pot luck I shall fry my own chicken, a family recipe I call Southern Cluck I feel so priveledged, one bag of ice saved just for me I am astounded, at the pot luck, no one tries my family recipe I am a very sanitary person with a very noticeable habit Maybe next time I will bring marinated Rabbit I just wanna know why you find what I do so gross I can mix a drink for you while you explain and all the while be picking my nose Either way you look at it, of my nose, I am still in charge I wonder often if someone has fingers that are too large For them I feel bad they can't clear their airway I clear it probably six or seven times a day If I can't flick it, I wipe it on my clothes Watch for sharp, dry objects left behind,this is one of the hazards when you pick your nose This is dedicated to all of you nose pickers out there Men will sometimes pull out nostril hairs Women normally pull clean Unless your name is Butchy McQueen It is stuffed so you blow and blow A finger irrigation can bring it under control Don't dig so hard that you cause a nose bleed No matter how often you harvest the field, the nose plants new seeds I myself, never use self control Even at lunch, when everyone is featstin' I still pick my nose