I Never Learn

Ink swirled across paper. Catching the hemorrhaging thoughts of a rambling mind. Hours spent texting for a "no strings attached" ? What a waste of time. Yes I get lonely but I know I deserve more than this. Now that the boundries have been clearly drawn in the sand I know I'll be dissed. He warned me not to get attached. He made it clear in every way. Honestly that's difficult to do when he was the only one asking about my day. What I got attached to was the attention. It felt good to get. But these days all I ever seem to be worth to men is a friend with benefits. What I lack in appearance I make up for with depth of character and personality. Yet once again I am tossed aside by a person who finds no worth in me. Getting too old to play these games. My faith in men crumbles. Distracted by attraction. Once again I stumble. Now I lay here talking to God since I have no bond with my mother. Growing tired of making one friend after another.