Get Your Premium Membership

I Love You, Old Man

I once had knew a man Who became older than a dead man A tired soul, he was. Looked like he'd never seen a bed And His gray hair resembled a cloudy day, With fog, and his swollen eyes - - looked like someone had just punched him in the face His skin was wrinkled like a dollar bill in a child's pocket Told to put it in his wallet, but Gosh darn it, he didn't think it Through, the skin on his face was sagging like the jeans of a teenage delinquent, Or like borrowing a pair from someone who weighs a hundred more than you His back was hunched like he was searching for answers that lie upon the ground He had always kept his walker close to him, it helped him get around. Too someone else, he may just seem to be an old man But too me, he is a gold man. 'Cause That's my old man.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 4/5/2017 9:52:00 AM
my gold man, cute.
Login to Reply
Date: 3/30/2017 7:00:00 AM
I like the descriptive comparisons here. "like a dollar bill in a child's pocket" A wonderful tribute to your 'old man' I"m sure he feels honored. ;)
Login to Reply
Date: 3/26/2017 12:35:00 PM
Nice write, Over-Powered Threat. : ) Good to see positive sentiments about a parent here. I think it's harder to write about joy and positive things than about sorrow, loss, pain, etc. The positive ones easily get sappy, maudlin, etc. - my opinion. You handle this so well, and I certainly agree with Becca, below: "the skin on his face was sagging like the jeans of a teenage delinquent, Or like borrowing a pair from someone who weighs a hundred more than you" - this is great, hilarious.
Login to Reply
Accountt Avatar
Deadd Accountt
Date: 3/27/2017 6:02:00 PM
Thanks again for the kind feedback Doug!!! I really appreciate it!! :)
Date: 3/23/2017 4:46:00 PM
Great write it made me feel like I know him I surely can see him.. God Bless
Login to Reply
Accountt Avatar
Deadd Accountt
Date: 3/23/2017 8:15:00 PM
Thanks, Glen!!
Date: 3/21/2017 9:20:00 AM
I'm coming back to this poem, because it's so truly beautiful, and the imagery is so gentle and kind. I give it a 7 and a fav.
Login to Reply
Accountt Avatar
Deadd Accountt
Date: 3/21/2017 6:20:00 PM
Much love Mr. White!!! :)
Date: 3/21/2017 2:05:00 AM
Wonderful words for your father, he is obviously worth his weight in Gold to you. Well written.
Login to Reply
Accountt Avatar
Deadd Accountt
Date: 3/21/2017 8:45:00 AM
Thank you very much for the kind comment, Maria!! :)
Date: 3/20/2017 9:13:00 PM
Wonderful write, I really like it. 7 and a fave dear ;) xomo
Login to Reply
Accountt Avatar
Deadd Accountt
Date: 3/20/2017 10:03:00 PM
Why thank you, Maureen!!
Date: 3/20/2017 2:01:00 AM
This is very beautiful, it it tender and endearing. "His skin was wrinkled like a dollar bill in a child's pocket // Told to put it in his wallet, but Gosh darn it, he didn't think it". That is beautiful my friend, you have a wonderful way with words.
Login to Reply
Accountt Avatar
Deadd Accountt
Date: 3/20/2017 2:12:00 AM
Much appreciated, kind sir. Thank you for all your encouragement!! It means a lot to me!! :)
Date: 3/19/2017 9:15:00 PM
This is really creative! I especially love, "the skin on his face was sagging like the jeans of a teenage delinquent, Or like borrowing a pair from someone who weighs a hundred more than you" wow.. you have a unique way with words.
Login to Reply
Accountt Avatar
Deadd Accountt
Date: 3/19/2017 9:50:00 PM
Thank you very much, Becca!! I appreciate that, Means a lot to me!!
Teagan Avatar
Becca Teagan
Date: 3/19/2017 9:23:00 PM
My favorite lines are "Too someone else, he may just seem to be an old man But too me, he is a gold man. 'Cause That's my old man." Because, this is really sweet, to say about your dad. Well done.

Book: Shattered Sighs