I Love You Mom

Long day at work and it already hurts To know when I go home it will get nothing but worse Im tired of going home to an empty fridge If she knew she was going to be on drugs why have any kids? Hurting me to see her who gave me birth Drugged up on who knows what I sit and sob in a shirt Constant accusations of things I never do I'm going to stop right here wont even mention abuse When I step into that house its like a cloud of sadness Been going on for years no way to stop this madness So many tears in my eyes its tearing me apart Nothing can add up to the embarassment and shame in my heart Expecially when all my friends have the "perfect mom" Comming home to depression some nights I lay and sob What hurts the most Is I dont want to leave I want to "stay and help mommy" its sad indeed I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night Praying to god as I cry to make everything right "Please lord help my mom work things through" "Her addiction is getting worse I dont know what to do" "For her no one is there I dont even think they're aware" "Infact I am the only one who still even cares" "Lord I sit and stare as her conditions get worse" "I need some guidance tell me where to start first" I lay back in my bed and cry myself to sleep Thinking will she ever stop before it gets too deep? Sunrises in the morning back up for work! "Positive attitude" policy so I put on a smirk Headed out the door for another long hard day Forcing on a smile thinking "its going to be okay"..