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I Love You

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Today, I decided to just let loose, and attempt to write the worst poem in literary history. I wanted this treacle to be as corny and derivative as possible. I hope no one reads this crapola of a poem. Or at least read it, and pretend you didn't. It took me 10 minutes to write it. From the anthology, Complaining to the Clock, a work in progress.

 

 

I Love You I love you as much as a digging dog loves finding its long buried T-bone. I love you as much as I love carne asada tacos and beans on Saturday nights. I love you as much as the blue sky loves a flowing white cumulus cloud. I love you as much as a revving car engine loves its regular oil changes. I love you as much as a marching ant loves my open gaping cookie jar. I love you as much as a dead rotting corpse loves a green gated graveyard. I love you as much as a crooked preacher loves collecting baskets full of money. I love you as much as a common thief loves an unlocked door at midnight. I love you as much as a cluss-filled toilet loves finally flushing it all down at dawn. I love you as much as a mosquito loves the open bare skin on the back of my leg. I love you as much as my stomach loves the flow of warm mashed potatoes in winter. I love you as much as an open book loves human eyes peering upon its naked white pages. I love you as much as a bed loves the springs in its mattress when the bouncing begins.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




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Book: Reflection on the Important Things