I Look Back and Smile

I remember how I would cry myself to sleep Night after night then I would wake the next morning Dreading the moment I stepped into the School's doors where you would all be waiting. You'd smile and pretend like we were the best of friends Till my parents left the car park then the words Would fall from your mouths slashing and cutting,Burning into my brain. You would all stand around me mocking me,jeering. When you saw your words didn't effect me,you moved on to The physical. I remember how your hands would wrap around my throat,preventing me from breathing. You'd laugh at My struggle to breathe. I remember how they would hold Me down so I couldn't run while you would punch me repeatedly till I Could no longer stand up right,till I lay in a pool of my own blood. How people would just watch and laugh but never stop and intervene. The pain and humiliation I felt only enhanced your glee. I've grown stronger, now nobody would dare mock me. Sometimes people aren't strong enough to survive this so they leave but some people come out stronger...like me. I remember how you'd get so angry Because I never cried,I never screamed I just took it silently. When I look back I see how small you were and I try to feel anger at what you did to me but I feel nothing. I try to hate you but I can't. Maybe it's because I'm now successful and you have nothing to look forward to but another gruelling day of pain and little food. I feel no hate only sympathy towards the person I once feared but no longer do. Now I look back and smile at how I could've stopped you and I know you realised this too, now I know why you only ever hurt me when your friends were around to hold me down. I admit you've ruined me in many ways. I can no longer trust people,love people,no longer look people in the eye,but I look back and smile because if you had never hurt me like you did I wouldn't be the person I am today, I wouldn't be as strong and independent,as successful and happy as I am today, I would never feel such a strong sense of justice like I do now so I would like to thank you for making me a better person. Thank you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------