I Know Now

i never knew one person could have so many emotions inside them at one time. i never knew how easily hate could fill the empty void where love once thrived. i never knew that lying got the world would make a difference. i never knew that hurting me could help you. i never knew that lovers make good fighters. i never knew that the best of friends make the best of enemies. i never knew that abstinence led to betrayal. i never knew that distance makes the heart grow fonder. i never knew that all our friends were just my friends, not yours. i never knew how pathetic you were. i never knew i just needed a stronger man. i never knew i could be so unhappy. i never knew how many hours it would take to build a tree house. i never knew how quickly i could want to burn it down. i never knew how badly i could want to tear my bike to shreds. i never knew how much i could want my house to fall to pieces because you helped build it. i never knew that one man could destroy me so. i never knew that the one man i loved was a s----y enough of a person to lie to me about something so serious. i never knew that the one person who brought out the best in me would eventually bring out the worst. i never knew that looking at pictures of happy times would make me so angry. i never knew that watching my kitten sleep would one day make me cry. i never knew that you could lie to my face and not feel guilty about tit. i never knew how much i needed my friends. i never knew that i could ever dislike 4-wheeler rides. i never knew that i could hate going into the campers or the building for anything. i never knew that i could eat a whole thing of ice cream by myself. i never knew that i would cry myself to sleep several nights over a lie. i never thought that i wouldn't be able to cars without crying, or ever come to a point where i actually didn't want to watch the Notebook. i never knew that i could hate snow patrols "chasing cars" so much that it would make me cry. i never knew that we could be apart for so long and yet your still ruining things for me. i never knew that you could have the nerve to bug for a second chance. i'm not saying i regret it , because i don't. It's just i know now. And there's no way in h---- i'm going back.