I Kept It

so i kept it 9 months in me we connected everyday i had to make sure i was happ so it wouldnt be affected sleepless nights feeling sick and it was because of it sometimes id regret changing my mind on having it aborted and everytime i did it would kick slowly joy would run deep in my heart even though i didnt want it it chose me to be its mom an ammature unemployed,confused,young girl with no direction. i kept it i have nothing visible to give to it just my love which is not pure enough for a gift like it. i kept it but i lost me i became such a mess that the only thing that rang in my head was death i sat down and depression sat next to me my last thought was "im going to keep it,give birth to it but im not going to stay with it" i was unfit to mother it and so after holding it i kissed it hugged it and i left it my son ... i left you in the arms of my mom who's going to love you i thought i was going to better for you as an angel and so i went to heaven and left you.