I Just Got Out of the County Jail

After a wonderful late afternoon walk in the park, my wife and I moseyed over to the Japanese Hibachi Grille for some dinner. What we got into was some good old fashioned drama down at BeniHana... You see, I got me a fetish for shiny cookware, so as the patrons' eyes honed in on the iron chef dicing up onions, shrimp, and chicken... mine were busy fantasizing about concealing Ginsu knives clankin' in the kitchen. "Brew Silly began his routine with the hot fire volcano bit atop the flat grille. In the distraction, my sticky fingers began reactin', slippin' utensils inside my zipper, for a thrill. Things started heatin' up as folks were eating up; Spatulas started flyin'! Mushrooms were a fryin', My conscience stopped trying... tired of getting beaten up! Now, if I told you I was lookin' at what was cookin'... I'd be a lyin'. I mean, I was really tryin', but the devil had me by the klepto-hands...guiding me. Riling me up. He said, "Go for one of them Wok's! Do it now Big Dog! Get yir rocks off! Knock yir socks off! Quick man...sly like a fox, Hoss!" My heart said, "No", but my head said, "OH HELL YES!" Sadly, I was in cahoots with the devil, bass mixed with treble, trouble poundin' in my chest! So guess what came next?- I grabbed one of them big brass bitches, signaled Jessie's ass with a quickness, and started gunnin for the door! Of course, my good hearted wife started whinin', "Honey, I wasn't done, now what are we leavin' for?" "Listen baby, I'll explain later. Right now it's time to go!" As we passed the pretty little hostess, she banged the gong and said real fast, "AHH, Tank-You Berry Much F'wor Cummean Fwolks!" We jetted towards the park, but it was getting dark. My legs began to fail. The cops were on our tail. We tried to walk and play it off, but it was no use. We should have stayed and ate our food, and drank our brews with "BREWS!" The pigs threw me to the ground, then began to squeal and bark. They tossed us in the County Jail, twenty thousand bail... ____________FOR TAKIN' A WOK TO THE PARK!!! ~"True story ={WinK+Wink}