I Hate That I Want You

why am i feeling this out of nowhere i'm shot in the back a arrow piercing my heart bringing back all those feelings loneliness desperation, love, hate, pain and now i want you so bad i keep saying out loud you were no good you hurt me you abused me emotionally you ignored me you were a no good boyfriend but then i think there were moments when you were everything i wanted everything i loved ah i just hate myself i hate my heart i hate these tears i hate this feeling i hate you but i want you for some reason i just can't understand