I Don'T Want To Give Up Drinking Again

I’ve lost everything, my backs to the wall, Where are my friends, no one seems to call, I’ve heard the whispers, liar, cheat and nutter, So I’m always alone where I lie in the gutter. I reached for the curb to help me on my way, Then I stood at the door, at the home of A.A. Thinking I’m bringing, something novel and new, When I told my story, what I’m going through. There are many directions how lives twist and bend, But where we all finish is the same in the end, The past can be a warning, not if but when, But I don’t want to give up drinking again. I laid unfair blame for what I could not pass, But nobody else ever picked up my glass, And parties were great for its one more excuse, Where I could hide shame and not fear the abuse. But when I was alone and with no one to share, Where time had no meaning and the cupboard is there, Always that first drink brought on the shame, And I fell beyond back when igniting the flame. Strength comes from within when fighting this foe, And I lessened depression and felt esteem grow, Each day is my choice and cannot be a token, Because I don’t want to give up, drinking again. Now all that surrounds me is not just a haze, But I still have a problem of good and bad days, The past can be a warning, not if but when, But I don’t want to give up drinking again.