I Close My Eyes

I close my eyes And back home I am Looking out those Century old windows My inner tears Would burst a dam I remember every crack In those walls, Every floor board Prone to creak But the happiness I had there, Is something I can now but seek... Home of fifty years Saw my tears and my joy From infancy to adulthood And the blessed life I'd had there Since I was but a boy A place where several Family members had died In the old fashioned way And all those tears I cried... Not in some remote hospital, But where they wanted to be And I'd suely love to die there, If it was up to me.. But, it was my destiny To come here, In this desolate place Certainly I'm not that happy But it's something I must face I made a mistake, I should have died there Where I had lived so happily And now, I barely care, What becomes of me My life is over Save but a bit of love, Still directed at me And each day I wonder, What do these people see in me?