I Am Alone

I am alone. With a child’s face, all chubby cheeks and wide eyes Sometimes full of surprise- mostly full of sorrow if you look deep enough. I am alone. Every day I know that it will only get harder to be lonesome. Where have all my friends gone? I know they’ve all gone away, probably to play In fields of grass that comes to their knees. The sun Will hang permanently in the sky, warming the ground that they Tread upon. Yet I am alone. Sometimes shy and sometimes loud- never at the right times. I can’t fit in. Oh, that’s right; I’m a big girl now. Too big to be noticed Too big to be forgotten. Don’t they realize I can hear every word they are Saying? Not right now- but in two years time. I wish they would leave me alone. I am alone. In my head with thoughts that aren’t mine. They win and I lose. And I lose. And I lose. And then they are gone. And I grow while I lose. But still I am alone. Four years now. I’m back to where I started. Only better. Only worse. I hide away, blocking out today’s sounds with yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone. I am obnoxious, and obvious, and oblivious. I cry. I complain. I can’t Stand the way that people act today. Like diva’s and disasters caught Out in the rain. I am alone. Like a spider in a web I try to catch a friend To help me through the day- because I know that when I’m through I’ll devour and throw them away. And I have the nerve to wonder why my friends have up and left and gone. I am alone.