I Am

I am a frightened spirit I wait to be set free I'm a prisoner of the darkness that has always been with me a side effect of the disease in my infected mind where conflict and self hatred are what I so often find I am weakened by my journey on a road that's been too long in futility I've searched to find where I belong as the years accumulate I can so clearly see that I should have never been there is no place for me I am counting down how many beats I have left in my heart as I pick up scattered pieces every time it's torn apart the pieces grow more ragged and more difficult to mend when there is nothing left to fix so will the carnage end I am standing at the gravesite of my dreams which have all died acknowledging that I have failed as hard as I have tried I am slowly drowning in a river made of tears as I count the corpses I've collected through the years I am a wounded spirit never wanted in this world I have been shown my value with each heartache it's unfurled I am so much of nothing and it's all I'll ever be I'm waiting for the day to come when death will rescue me I am praying for that day to come to hurry on it's way for where I am not wanted I do not want to stay I am a tortured spirit waiting for my life to cease waiting for the time to come when I can rest in peace I am a summation of the pain I've always known a fertile mass of flesh designed for malice to be sown I'm a lost and weary victim trapped in my insanity I am a frightened spirit I wait to be set free