Hyper Vigilant

this surface thin brittle teased tinkling ice... memories interwoven... heavily draped wisely entrapped... delicately arranged... fragile inner-childhood fear... bemused...many triggers... continuous happy tiny moments... interrupted...by casual slaying dread... trifle chilly moments...echos to this very day...her spirit...hid under her bed...in her wardrobe... the child hid to play... her triggers aware alert intuitive... she trusts her inner rescuer... the source will sound the bell... survival mode she does well... wears her finest mask to hide from hell... this life she accepts...no longer denies...she stokes her flames deep inside... her lover knows of her pain... a pain this deep one cannot change... ...I will fight to send them back... ...to silence them...with my emotions intact... without this threat of demise... happiness evades...and divides... this life...I strive...this entered damage...this enigma...I carry within my chore... my conscience...my survival will not allow me to ignore... this truth...your failure...your fears my fears...I have chosen to confront... yet my fear chooses to elude... ...for this mother daughter love you gave me...I traded it all for truth... ...for I did not want the same... ...I did not want to ever become like you...