Hurt and Pain

Crushed, crippled, torn and shredded No longer knowing where life is headed Ripped apart with a heart of stone Not used to feeling so alone Fake it to make it, put on an act Try to make up for what the relationship lacked Without them then I’m nothing, dead, gone No longer able to see the sun that shone The blackness is massive and all consuming The craved end, the release, death is looming Long to get out, to escape, to desist To float my soul on a thickening mist My family and friends, the people I know Didn’t realise because my feelings don’t show The people that care, didn’t matter to me Because my hurt and my heartbreak was all I could see A glimmer, a glint, a pinpoint of light But I choose not to let it be in my sight Determined to wallow, to let myself die To finish my days having cried myself dry The light is persistent and continues to grow A friend with a torch or family with glow? I look through a window and see the day break And feel all the emotion beginning to wake I keep the light dimmed, keep it at bay But I don’t really want to go right away Maybe if I focus and keep it near It might contain voices that I try to hear To tell me there’s something that’s worth fighting for That this isn’t the end, that they promise there’s more I’m not ready yet for those voices to shout But at least I know when I am, they’ll come out Because those voices care about me every day And to sit by the side and wait is their way For when I am ready and I know I can call And there’ll be there to catch me as I know I will fall So for now I will hurt and give myself time Because the choice to recover is only mine But when I do, as I know that I must Those voices are ones that I know I can trust.