How to survive middle school

Always be sarcastic, but not so much that it's rude. Be very careful to pretend not to notice what others think. Clothes don't matter, but they do. They really do. Don't be annoying, just be yourself. But better. Every teacher has feelings, so don't hurt them (intentionally). Funny is funny until it's not. Girls must focus on their appearance, but act like they don't. Hello isn't something you say. Hey. Hi! How ya doin'? Inside of the building, you usually have to wear a sweater. Just remember, it doesn't last forever, only three years. Knowing everything is good, but don't be a know-it-all. Long hair isn't always better than short hair. Mondays are just a day. Always remember that. No one should have to eat by themselves. Invite them over? Maybe? Only popular kids are popular. They just are. Parents are NOT cool. At all. But they are useful with math homework. Quit drugs before you start. Everyone should do well to remember that. Recess is for little kids. Lunch (recess with food) is for everyone. Struggling is normal, but don't admit you struggle. Take the good electives. Only the good ones. Unless your friends agree to it, don't add someone to your lunch group. Very annoying people will forever be labeled as such. Wednesday is hump day. Get through that, and you're golden. Xmas is a time for giving. That's what the adults want you to say. You can always find a loophole in homework. You just have to look for one. Zero friends is what you'll have if you don't follow every rule.