How Stupid

Some days I feel so INSANE.... All this anger, rage and pain Is all rolling around so deep Out of my soul it surely seeps. Lord how stupid was I? I believed every lie, I took every powerful punch And boy there were a bunch. Every choice I am second guessing. Nothing in them is a blessing. With every cry and every tear Am wondering how I got here? Now know the system I once believed in Said all my decisions were all a sin. The judge said my children she would take As she believed that their interests I had forsake. Family and my few select friends Think that I have made amends. But surely how can I? When all I can do is ask why? Why did I stay his wife? Why did I endure all the strife? Why can't I still be a mom? Why can't I find that magic balm? Why won't this agony go away? How long must I continue to pay? Can I ever really heal? Or forever will pain be all I feel?