How Much Do I Love Thee

How much do I love thee Let me tabulate all the ways I bought you a new Mercedes With gold plated tire rims I bought you a humongous diamond ring The size fit for all Royals and King I bought you a store of the finest lingerie Secrets still held at the door by decree I bought you a garden of roses so red My love was surely in bloom, or so they all said I bought you a ticket to heavens pearly gates So that in paradise you’d have not to even wait I bought you your very own private Lear jet To see the world through champagne eyes My love was a vault and you emptied it dry My heart has now learned to never cry How much do you love me? Your lawyer seems to know You claimed mental duress Suffering under such stress The Mercedes was the wrong color so I am told I should have known, pink, not gold The diamond ring was too heavy to wear Your back injuries caused you painful despair The lingerie didn’t cover you just right So medical ailments kept you up many a nights The roses in bloom where not the right flower Your allergies they caused, thus making you sour The ticket to heaven you plain out refused Said it was one way, and that just wouldn’t do! You had no issues riding my Lear jet You rode the pilot as well, a mile high kinda bet My love you tossed into the bin out in back The divorce lawyer smiles at me, saying she sure is great in the sack The moral of the Story is this! If you are sitting at the table, and You see a few beetles scurrying about Maybe even whistling a tune or two Listen carefully to what they say