How Many Gimmies Do You Get

How Many Gimmies Do You Get? By Elton Camp The story that I tell you is all too true I used to get as many gimmies as you Until finally there came to be the day When that greedy game I wouldn’t play An engraved invitation I was sent one year About a distant cousin’s sweet little dear Little Lulu’s kindergarten graduation is due If you can’t come, we’d like a gift from you Those weren’t just the words they selected But I very well knew that a gift was expected No matter that their brat I wouldn’t recognize That minor fact didn’t stop gift-seeking tries One time a “friend of a friend” had the gall For me to attend their son’s wedding to call They also included the URL of an online site It meant, “This lists the gifts that will delight.” But the one that produced the greatest surprise Contained a name that I totally didn’t recognize Next month, my high school diploma I’ll get Don’t try to come because there’s no place to sit This is why I call “Gimmies” all such invitations Because gifts are clearly the sender’s expectation So when you think of “inviting” me, understand The gimmie will go straight into the garbage can