How Do You Still Not Know Me

How do you still not know me? After all the years of taking care of me You were my parent half of my life And you've always loved me very deeply I appreciate all the presents and favors I appreciate how you saved my family from death And I acknowledge that without you, I never would've taken a breath Yet, you try to change me over and over Even though I am unbreakable You always tried to tear me from my dreams Yet I have always been unshakable My dream is to let the world hear my voice You always tell me it is unattainable You try to tell me what career I should take Do you really think I am trainable? I have tried to bring my pain Into the light with notes upon notes You read them and dismissed them It's as if you thought they were anecdotes My feelings are real, and I always wonder How do you not see my pain when you tell me I can't I hear it every day in many different forms I might as well have been born an ant You crush me and my hopes By telling me they're silly thoughts I can't open up to you, I wish I could But just meeting your stare has my stomach in knots I wish you would love me and accept me That's exactly what a grandfather should be But you let one question stir in my head, How do you still not know me?