How Do I Show

It is easy to judge one’s being, We do it all the time. When one feels pain, though, We do not know why. Some try to explain, But it hurts more than it helps. With judgments and lectures, Rarely does on listen and think. Many have tried, But instead of help I get hurt. I was the cause of something I did not know, Something I want out. And the pain grows with no cure in sight. I feel a helpless void, afraid to scream, Afraid to fight. Now I come out a crippled mess. I want hope, I want friends. But to have them is a sign of laziness, To my models, To strive for a mark I do not know if I can reach, And yet I cannot ask for help, For I would be a pain. Suicide was never the answer. I have something to live for, Something to give. But to give means to be free. And that is what I have not been. People make choices for what is best, Leaving my self-esteem second. People have thrown me away And chose me to settle. My choice is clear. Always is, was, will be. But to do that I must be happy with me. Happy with who I am, For now I am not. I rely on opinion, instead of fact. Emotions, instead of a sure head. One instead of both. Teamwork has been a joke. I used to think it took two to tango. But my friends are wrapped up with their own problems. I thought friends share their feelings. “Lean on me” But two blind men cannot lead each other? WRONG! Each has their won strength and weaknesses. That is what makes a power like friends. But I am a outcast. You do not treat me like one. You listen to the whole story. You did not judge, You did not strike a lecture. You gave me a sound alternative that could help me. Whether it works I do not know, But all I can say is… THANKS FOR LISTENING AND BEING OPEN! 6/21/05