Honest Regret

When the belltole of 3am hits the air the vibration, rings out like despair-yelling. and the feeling of calm decays into nigh- into nigh when it no longer stays the grey, light is killed to dark this wave of care disappears so slowly, time freeze even though i've said the famous "I'll be okay" body feels like quicksand has swallowed it whole, I suppose too difficult to weave arms and toss legs the numbing begins, Opening Pandora box in an erratic vocal matter a friendly ear to venture all the clutter and chatter-empathy and the feelings of emptiness heists into high- into high dig deeper into the past's parade, a kid hollow in pain raped by evil in the form of humans, oh why Into adult years I've said that cliche "thrown to the wolves" This barren waste I've called my heart is toxic, so ataxic over tiresome to let people into my walls entrance the deadening begins, Now the push to end the pain begins at the morning When the words "I think of you as a friend" kills me- dampening and the feelings of reality drain into my mind- my mind, The part to moveing on, is there is no moving of the middle organ this mind feels like sighing like a wave pushing rocks, I propose too ridden to throw my thoughts to dry paper and over-inked quills. the life begins, without you