Homeland Security

I used to garden naturally, but now I'm guard'in chemically. I've traded in my life bucolic for one much more diabolic. I'd rather play in the dirt chem-free where weeding is great therapy: tending herbs and building beds, watering and dead-ing heads. I'd welcome help to germinate wiggling worms to cultivate, and frequent flyers to pollinate. But no! I'm forced to fumigate. My homeland's been invaded! All my plots are being raided by countless uninvited guests and some most annoying pests: those snakes and snails and slugs, wasps and spiders, moths and bugs, herds of deer, rabbits and moles a local raccoon and several voles. Despite the natural tools I've tried my garden still is occupied. So I feel completely justified to spray more potent pesticides. To keep my enemies at bay, I have to fight most every day with coyote smells and critter baits copper tapes and underground grates, then netting plus a six-foot fence-- all apart of my homeland defense. Yes, I admit I'm a fearful zealot always seeking that magic pellet or some ultra-noxious smell which will cast its might spell to desist, to deter, to repel, or extend that final farewell. So when you need that knockout drop here's the place you ought to shop. Skip the nursery, and fill your cart from all the shelves at My-Pest-Mart