"holistic" Healer

There was something odd about this stranger She called herself a holistic healer But truly there was nothing “holy” about her “Bring me an eye of a young newt,” she said “Two toads that haven’t recently been fed Be sure to include a Vampire Bat’s head” “But I just have a problem sleeping in bed; Shouldn’t I drink chamomile tea instead?” The scowl she offered filled me with great dread “You asked for my help; do you really want it? You risk seeing your name in an obit.” She scared me to action, I must admit It took some work, but when I returned Over to her all her requests I turned Thinking a cure I must surely have earned “Ah,” she said wickedly, “thank you, my dear.” She handed me chamomile tea in good cheer So I asked why she’d made requests so ***** “Stick around, you’ve more problems than you know I have to treat that scaly patch that grows From the top of your head down to your toes” Ran out, I did, pledged never to come back Saw in a mirror skin flaking and black Vowed to find a doctor who’s not a quack! The newt, toads and bat caused this reaction Now I needed a full skin extraction Paid a real doc big bucks for satisfaction *Written in honor of Deborah Guzzi's The Road to Wellville contest