Hole In My Heart

Poem I sit there silently as the sadness builds up in my eyes My body won’t stop shaking, while on the inside I die So much self-hatred; now the crying will start Why does it feel like there’s a hole in my heart? Why can’t I control it; the pain I feel within? Why can’t I accept the person living in my skin? Why do I feel like a burden to everyone I know? I feel like they would be better off if I were just to go I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me It’s like the love he felt is gone and a problem is all he sees I want him to look at me the way he did at the start That look that said you’re everything, you’ll always hold my heart Why can’t I be happy? Why do I let the voices win? The voices that tell me that only fear disappointment and lies live within my skin They tell me that there is no point in fighting; that I’ve already lost this war And nobody could ever love a fat, depressive whore I know I’m hard to be around because I keep living in the past By now I should have realised that nothing good is built to last I used to be pretty with long hair and skinny which was enough to make me smile Because I believe as long as I can be beautiful people might stay for a while But now I just do drugs and drink to try and fill the hole To try and fill the emptiness that I feel within my soul Why does it feel like pain is constantly tearing me apart Why does it feel like there is a hole in my heart?