Holding

i am holding everything i've ever known in my hand better yet than never i am shaking like a king upon a throne in this land noone holds me by a tether to this tree that is all that i have left and its fruit that i cannot bear to know now i see a tear of blood upon the weft now my fright has my life across the bow and i'm shaking and i'm trying and i cannot hide away from the raging and the faking that i'm facing every day my heart racing and the aching that you'll never ever see is the one thing that i'm thinking when i'm gone will set me free when you try to undress me do you live inside a world where it's okay to be free if you do what you are told "i won't wake you i won't kill you i won't try to hide away if you leave me if you bleed me i won't tell you anyway there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO I AM EVERYTHING TO YOU will you cry if i can't leave you every night with nothing true" i'm not sleeping i am weeping for the time when i get by in a day for the way when i think i'll never die i am aching for the taking of my life by anyone it's not happ'nin my'imagin'ation passing through the setting sun i wanna be so complicated so unfrustrated for the end i only need to be the one that can see you made amends i don't need no other men not after everything we've been i'm the loneliest to know the only one i've loved is you but there is nothing i will be if you cannot sleep with me but if you touch me there again i will cut your heart in two "i won't wake you i won't kill you i won't try to hide away if you leave me if you bleed me i won't tell you anyway there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO I AM EVERYTHING TO YOU will you cry if i can't leave you every night with nothing true" ... when i'm alone again i will try to live a lie it's maybe better... than to wish i wanna die...