Hillbilly Abduction

One night while I was sleeping The bed began to shake I knew right then without a doubt That I was wide awake Here they come once again To take me for a ride I saw their flying saucer It was much too late to hide So I put on my old blue jeans And headed for the door When I saw this giant beam of light That sucked me off the floor I knew exactly what they wanted And no they didn't use a probe They didn't suck my brains out Or even ask me to disrobe They were looking for a hillbilly To teach them a thing or two Like how to skin a possum And how to make rattlesnake stew Them aliens were some friendly folk They said they liked the way I talked They told me that was the reason That I was the one they stalked They asked me about beef jerky And how to tan a hide I showed them my old coon dog As they watched me beam with pride They said they really liked my truck And wanted to take it for a spin So I stuck that thing in four-wheel drive And you should have seen them grin When the night was finally over I thought I heard them say We'll be coming back real soon As I watched them fly away I only had one problem As I sat there on the ground Them aliens done up and stole My very best blue tick hound