Hiccups

Hiccups An involuntary spasm of the diaphragm and respiratory organs, with a sudden closure of the glottis and a characteristic sound like that of a cough. Rather mundane topic lest one cursed with said minor inconvenience that subsequently manifests into protracted health crisis. I write much hiccup ado about nothing, which involuntary explosive release comes clear out of the hiccup blue nary a sponge bob square pants handy dandy blues clue, where in tarnation this uncontrollable bout jarring the Jimmy Neutron body electric all's well that ends well hiccup do. Why such physiological spasmodic trembling undulating weird phenomena uncontrollable peculiar singultus kickstarts, where one of many extreme measures now suggested such as ramming cloven hoofs down the gullet wool shear lee be in vain to bring closure of glottis hiccups ewe you wool sheepishly moost likely find annoying as this hiccupping buck feels few breaths short of taking another potential drastic action… like hiccup swallowing glue as an extreme solution wide whirled, webbed series of being held hostage resorting to asking Horton hears a Who to stomp his elephant legs (also known as hottentot bread) atop thee abdominal chest (me not ribbing ye dear reader) despite impossible mission to escape, thus truncating mein kampf and additional fail safe measure being trundled to an igloo serving as ice cold emergency room of a mockup hospital or calling on the ghost of the late veterinarian James Herriot to scare doggone such hiccup caterwauling catering to gentile or skeletal anorexic hunger artist appropriately named Jew Lean, thus, time and again when said hiccup affliction holds me hiccup hostage ye dear stranger knew seeking cure twill drive me towards considering additional outrageous acts of desperation such as sticking ma head in the loo, which bizarre reaction on par with holding out an appetite until famished for moo goo guy pan mixed with delicious bowl of new dulls steeped in broth, an island delicacy renown on Oahu even this atheist would ask for salivation praying in a pew, whereby sound of silence echoed by hiccup right on queue when nary a burble until reaching amen hiccup rue stubbornly persists, no matter resorting to consider extreme unction measures at suppressing explosive strew wing upsurge of diaphragm, accursed diabolical solution holding breath until turning blue in the face simultaneously forcing air thru alternative orifices such as: nasal passage and/or mouth, ears or out derrière as last ditch effort. Oft times physiological phenomena faintly resembles bobbing up and down analogous to the celebrated jumping frog of Calaveras County seriousness one best not undervalue with a snort lest ye surpass one poor soul when an accident on June 13, 1922, Charles Osborne (experienced 20 to 40 involuntary diaphragm spasms per minute) hiccupped nonstop, which condition persisted for more than six decades, only ending in 1990, a full 68 years after it began. Osborne's plight remains the longest attack of hiccups confirmed by Guinness World Records invariably accompanied no doubt by a voodoo Practitioner…until…at last whew hiccups stopped mysteriously as they started bringing relief to him who analogously felt like caged primate in a zoo.