Home » Poems » Paul Callus » Her Reassuring Hand

Her Reassuring Hand

She passed away into the veiled sunset; her one-way ticket...stark reality. Long nights; adjusting to an empty house where memories haunt my sleep, dark shadows flit on walls. The months go by yet still I ache. Although in time the heart should heal with loneliness it’s hard to deal. The smile I wear is but a fake. Facing the ocean alone, I pensively sit my heart bleeding tears. I miss the comforting moon and her reassuring hand. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Contest: Challenge ~ Write One 1.Epigram 2.Kimo 3.Enclosed Rhyme 4.Tanka Sponsor: Broken Wings Placed 2nd © 6th September 2016

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Freddie Robinson Jr.

Date: 11/19/2016 4:12:00 PM

A gem, Paul. The weaving of the different forms takes a masterful pen. Yours is more than capable. Hauntingly beautiful imagery from form to form. Exquisitely done, my poetic friend. Love and many blessings to you.

Paul Callus
Date: 11/24/2016 11:04:00 AM

Thank you, Freddie. I admit it took me longer than usual to write:) Glad you like it. Regards // paul

John Hamilton

Date: 9/28/2016 8:28:00 AM

This is simply magnificent Paul. I gave up on this challenge, but you pulled it off seamlessly. Sometimes when you mix forms such as this challenge it comes across forced or incoherent but this was really, really well done. Belated congrats on a fine win, and I see it is rising on the top 100.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/28/2016 1:25:00 PM

Your insightful feedback is indeed appreciated, John...thank you!! ~ Best regards // paul

Nilima Deb

Date: 9/27/2016 8:28:00 AM

strong emotional poem, touching .Brilliant write dear poet.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/28/2016 1:22:00 PM

Thank you, Nilima; yours are most lovely comments! ~ Regards // paul

Eileen Manassian

Date: 9/24/2016 3:33:00 AM

I can see why this would do well, Paul. It is beautiful and reflective of a caring heart. Sweet...

Paul Callus
Date: 9/24/2016 8:56:00 AM

You are a kind critic, Eileen:) Thank you!!! Hugs // paul

Chris Hagy

Date: 9/23/2016 6:48:00 PM

Congrats Paul...well deserved, beautiful and haunting write!

Paul Callus
Date: 9/24/2016 8:54:00 AM

Thank you, Chris; both congrats and lovely comments are appreciated! Regards // paul [by the way, I enjoyed the bite I had at your birthday cake:)]

Olusegun Arowolo

Date: 9/10/2016 3:16:00 AM

Lovely and beautiful piece,Paul...Very touching write...Congrats on your win in this contest...it is well deserving...

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 7:53:00 AM

Thank you very much, Olusegun. So pleased that you liked it. Best regards // paul

Sandra Haight

Date: 9/9/2016 3:42:00 PM

Hi, Paul...glad to read this was pure fiction, but your emotional write was so convincing of the profound sadness and loss. Congratulations on your fine placement in the contest. Sandra

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 7:56:00 AM

Thank you for reading and commenting, Sandra. Enjoy the weekend:) Regards // paul

Laura Leiser

Date: 9/9/2016 2:15:00 PM

Congrats on your top win, Paul, and one with an interesting "twist", too!

Paul Callus
Date: 9/9/2016 2:58:00 PM

Thank you, Laura. Have a nice weekend:) Regards // paul

Constance La France

Date: 9/9/2016 11:16:00 AM

Paul, congratulations on your win in my contest with this sad and wonderfully penned poem ~

Paul Callus
Date: 9/9/2016 3:36:00 PM

Thank you, Constance. I'm pleased with my win, and I enjoyed reading the many lovely winning entries. Regards // paul

Laura Hay

Date: 9/9/2016 9:31:00 AM

Love this visual that the last line captures, i'm sure there are many who can empathise with this in real life - although i see from comment below this wasnt. Even still, you managed to create such emotion as if you did indeed experience this yourself. Well done! Congrats on your placement too, warm regards, Laura.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/9/2016 3:39:00 PM

You never fail to stop by with meaningful comments, Laura:) Thank you! Warm regards // paul

Lu Loo

Date: 9/9/2016 7:44:00 AM

Paul, first of all I love the flow and memories can haunt our sleep...congrats on your placement! :)-luloo

Paul Callus
Date: 9/9/2016 3:41:00 PM

Thank you for coming back with congrats, Laura:) Enjoy the weekend! Regards // paul

Phillip Garcia

Date: 9/9/2016 7:18:00 AM

To me this was just too intimidating of a write to undertake but not for, obviously. I've not looked at the results for this contest but would be floored if this didn't place in the top line. I swear I looked for something to call a "flaw" to give feedback on but I gave up Midway through the 3rd read. Excellent!

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 8:12:00 AM

You are too generous, Phillip! Your 'excellent' comment is most encouraging! Thank you for a truly pleasant visit:) Regards // paul

Probir Gupta

Date: 9/9/2016 12:22:00 AM

A profound collection of missing moments .... Congratulations ,Paul, for the very well deserved win ...

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 7:57:00 AM

I like your concise and meaningful comments, Probir! Thank you. Regards // paul

Agnes Krampe

Date: 9/8/2016 9:00:00 PM

Congrats, Paul. Your beautiful poem expresses so well the deep sorrow and sadness at a loved one's passing. Agnes

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 8:14:00 AM

Thank you for the feedback and congrats, Agnes. May you have a nice day! Regards // paul

Winged Warrior

Date: 9/8/2016 8:08:00 PM

Congrats!!! my friend Paul...a touching great write...god bless...^WW^

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 8:15:00 AM

Thank you, my friend. Once again I congratulate you on your top placement! Best regards // paul

Janis Thompson

Date: 9/8/2016 5:52:00 PM

This was a challenge. Too tough for me. Well done. Congratulations, Paul.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 10:24:00 AM

Thank you, Janis. You could have done it, too...just a slight nudge would have got you there:) All the best. // paul

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 9/8/2016 12:09:00 PM

This is one tough contest, excellent job on a complex task. Still a great poem regardless of the challenge. A big 7.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 10:27:00 AM

Too many forms and rules could easily lead us astray, Armand; luckily perseverance does have its benefits:) Regards // paul

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 9/8/2016 10:53:00 AM

Paul you managed to express very well the loss of someone loved, the sleepless nights, disturbing dreams, and feeling like a part of you is missing. You did excellent job on this entry! I just went around in circles trying to write one for this and finally gave up my friend! Best of luck in the contest, I am sure it will do well! 7 ; )

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 4:07:00 PM

Thank you for a lovely visit and the insightful feedback, Connie. I 'write' many of my poems in bed, working them out in my mind before finally falling asleep, then hopefully remembering the main points when I wake up in the morning! Your good luck served its purpose...:) Regards // paul

Daniel Turner

Date: 9/7/2016 4:41:00 PM

Came back to double dip:) I really love the way you make the reader feel the emotion in this write. I won't steal it but I will study it!

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 3:47:00 PM

Thank you for a second visit, Daniel; very much appreciated:) Regards // paul

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 9/7/2016 3:28:00 PM

wow, this is one of sorrow done very beautifully, Paul. It's sure to rate high!!

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 9/7/2016 3:27:00 PM

so you are a fellow record collector that won't give them up? how awesome. When I die I am sure my kids will throw them to the trash. If they are smart, they will see what Ebay takes for them!! let me see your poem now.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 3:44:00 PM

I collect records and lots of other things, Andrea!! I feel sorry to see anything going to waste! Fortunately I know that my son takes after me, and he will keep the 'hoarding tradition' alive:) Regards // paul ~ Thank you for reading and liking this poem:)

Charmaine Chircop

Date: 9/7/2016 2:39:00 PM

Oh I love the way you ve written about the loss of someone ...and used the moon and her hand..Any loss of those dear to us leave such a black dark hole in the universe...indeed without moonbeams.Fantastic...A fave.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/10/2016 3:41:00 PM

You are kind and generous, Charm! Thank you! Hope you and yours are keeping well:) Regards // paul

Lu Loo

Date: 9/7/2016 8:36:00 AM

Oh Paul, so beautifully sad..this shows true emotions of loss and love, well done dear man, good luck :)-luloo

Paul Callus
Date: 9/7/2016 12:43:00 PM

Thank you Laura:) Writing poems at night often evokes these types of feelings! ~ Regards // paul

Viv Wigley

Date: 9/7/2016 8:26:00 AM

Well done, Paul, a great entry. I really struggled with composing one for this contest, but you appear to have achieved it with elan. I'm sure that you shall do well. Regards, Viv

Paul Callus
Date: 9/7/2016 12:27:00 PM

I'm glad that I wasn't the only one to struggle, Viv! Thank you for showing faith in it. Regards // paul

Daniel Turner

Date: 9/6/2016 4:06:00 PM

Paul, this is heart wrenching. Well written but heart wrenching. The reader can feel the loneliness. If it is true, I am sorry for your loss.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/6/2016 4:56:00 PM

Thank you for the insightful comments, Daniel. I can put your mind at rest that this is pure fiction, inspired by this contest. As you'll notice I had to make a couple of changes in order to satisfy the rules, amongst them the title. ~ Regards // paul