Heart and Soul: Confessionalism

We had been married thirteen years. We had two daughters aged four and one year old. I had no idea what she wanted to talk about that day. We went into our bedroom and closed the door. There were no traces of any hatchets, but by God one was about to fall. I only heard the first few sentences before the room went silent. The echo of my heart was beating in my skull. A cold invisible sweat rolled down my brow. My body was drowning in an unforgiving ditch of sinking mud. The atmosphere was a sandpaper grating against the grain of my senses. Even the chair I was sitting on betrayed me as it plugged itself into the wall. There was no call from the governor . The sentence was death by a lethal injection of ‘it is over, I want a divorce.’ My wife of thirteen years ended our relationship that day. If love is bliss, if it is the light then unrequited love is the switch that extinguishes the Sun. I was sure “I am not in love with you,” repeated itself in the annals of the entire universe. Surely, the planets were no longer aligned; the stars must have lost their brilliance that day. At least the traffic must have stopped and the economy crumbled worldwide. Not as much as a mosquito bite was affected that day. All was as it should be. Life was as fine as rain, the day my world stopped spinning and fell off its axis. I cried that day, I cried everyday for the next five years. There is no pain like the rejection of the love of your life. I was monogamous then and I am monogamous now. One life, one love. It took me another two years to stop crying completely and another three to grow a new spine. It was, it is a brand new day and I am searching for my one love. It feels good to be alive. It feels good to smell the flowers in the rain. September 1 2014