Happy Birthday

I’m locked inside my room away from the world. Closed within my shell, to enclose me in my Hell. And my mother wants to know if I need some pills as my feeling kills, the good part that’s inside of me. I’m trying not to think about all the bad things that are happening to me. I’m trying to make myself see the good things in the bad things that are surrounding me. The light is going out. The sky is growing dark. The days are growing cold. The nights are growing old. These feelings just keep embedding themselves in me. My family’s getting worried while my death is being hurried as I will myself to never let another in. I’m sitting in the corner so that you cannot see me, it’s the only way I can feel free. The only way to find some ease within my breathing. I’m just avoiding accepting this reality, that everything is fallacy. There is only an illusion, how everything is a delusion of what it appears to be. There’s a shower of my fears. A storm of what I don’t know. How does the story go? The loser still loses in the end. I’m stressing over confessing what I really feel and think. I am slowly sinking into the depression that is creeping up deep inside of me. There’s a feeling I can’t shake. Thoughts that I can’t take. A decision that I can’t make for the sake of being happy. I’m abandoned and alone. Running away from home inside, with no real reasons why, since the world that surrounds me is the reason that I cry.