Happiness

i cant be responsible. ten times more pressure. that i cant take. i want to run. & never stop. i want to leave. & never come back. i don't know what to do. this pain is never ending. why wont it just stop? i remember being happy. really & truly happy. it was amazing. no pressure. no tears. no problems. just amazement. of course it didn't last. it quickly faded. why? i don't know. ever since then me being happy is about as rare as a chicken flying. one day i know ill be happy again. i don't know when. & i don't know why. i just know.