Happiness

I wish I knew how to be happy but I haven't got a clue, I guess I'm just lacking the same stuff you have in you, I must have been born with out those feelings installed, Or there was a malfunction and those feelings got recalled, Cause no matter how hard I try I'm always depressed, No matter how much I cry the pain inside still exists, There's been pain in my heart since I was nine or ten, I tried my best to make my dad proud but there was no pleasing that man, Everything I did could have been a little bit better in his eyes, So many night I sat in my room with watery eyes trying not to cry, Why did he hate me? When I did the best I could, And now he's gone so I'll never know why I wasn't any good, I wish I could talk to someone but I doubt I would be understood, I wouldn't know how to explain the pain even if I could, So I'll just have to live with the fact that my happiness is broke, And try and hide the pain from family and friends by telling jokes, Maybe in death I'll finally learn to smile and laugh, But as for now I'll just have to keep trying to do my best. ~DM2~