Happier Now

I lost her suddenly with no explanation, she left me alone, in isolation. Was losing her for better or for worse? I came out stronger, but maybe its a curse. Everything is different now that she's gone, I keep running from my problems, its a marathon. I avoid it all, bury my emotions deep down, like water, I'm submerged and going to drown. Strayed from the world-maker, the creator, becoming a home-body, becoming a hater. She was like ice, she got smaller with time. But I don't miss her anymore, is that a crime? Loved but lonely, living but lost, my light is the fire. When I say I'm happier now am I a liar?