Gutted In the Rain

Gutted. Absolutely gutted. I know fairytale from truth I know not all in life has a happily ever after I know not everything works out I know all of this I never knew it could happen to me I never knew I could be left gutted I never thought I'd be left standing in the cold rain What happens when your princess says "I don't love you" What do I do when I'm so deep in love I can't dig my way out What happens when you become vulnerable and can't raise a shield I've held my shield strong I've held it for four years Had my heart ripped out once Had a transplant and said not twice Lowered my shield Professed my heart Had my heart ripped twice Need a transplant I need a new heart One that is harder One that is colder One that is sturdier than before I've let my shield fall twice The first I was young The first I was fearless The first gave me a joyless time I said never again and raised my shield Through my broken heart I healed Through my broken heart I learned strength Though my broken heart I became Hercules More like Achilles I became so confident I became older I became wiser I wouldn't let anyone lower my shield Until her She lowered my shield She made my heart feel full again She made me smile She made me laugh She made me feel loved She made me feel wanted She grounded me She balanced out my flaws She made me run She made me jump She made me giggle She made me sigh She made me feel like that young, dumb, eighteen year old again Alas, she made me cry She struck me down She through my shield away She brought me to my knees begging for mercy She told me "I don't love you" Her I sit Cross from her on this bus As we ride plans are plans My heart is rip'ing I'm gutted Standing in the cold rain Princessless Shieldless Melted shattered heart Gutted