Guilty Last Goodbye

Nervous sensation, this does not feel right Awaiting my call for my one last sight As I walk slowly into this minimal room, I don’t want to look A life has ended, now a closed book My courage expands for one brief glance This still feels wrong but I maintain my stance Resisting my urge to turn and flee I stay for the sake of my grieving family One more pointless stare This tall man looks smaller in the coffin lair An inappropriate chuckle inside, a smile on his face The irony is he never smiled often For one brief moment my hard heart begins to soften Curious glances persist Although I try my best to resist This still feels wrong to me, all haunting and ghostly It’s not what I want to see, I want my last thoughts to be the happy memories Should I feel shame for finding this wrong? I stand all rigid, this feels so long Or should I feel shame for my presence at an uncomfortable viewing Would I feel guilt if I stayed home stewing A wave of guilt descends regardless as no tears have dropped my eye Anyway Granddad it’s time to say goodbye