Grey

...And Sunday's what it took to prove I have something else to lose... Weeks, grey for weeks the sky has become bleak or just in my mind I apologize for my nonsense hear let me speak clearly I have let go let go of the tyrant who has held my mind hostage let go of the tyrant who has held my heart hostage for years but in return I stand up staring into the fireflies of rain drops my own mystical abyss looking for an answer in grey skies to answer why in letting go I don't feel a wave of relief I feel a wave of grey like I have no clue in what to do now Should I shout to the heavens I am now invincible again my own personal curse to say bring me down one more time or should I turn tail and run to find a substitute to quell my conscious fears I may never write beautifully again Well I hate to say maybe I transferred it a bit too late well a bit too early I found my place in a woman's eyes in a woman's heart I thought I may have found a home to be told 'I love you' but that was my first mistake for I keep forgetting love can lie look at the letters for love can lie say it's love but remove the L and E and you can construct a better word to slay say it's over today And does life love to slay me to have me attempt to transfer transfer my emotionally rage to emotional gain to build myself a tower to lock myself in and start over to call a wrecking crew to knock that very tower to the ground So what am I complaining about Complaining is a strong word I call it venting but I'm just saying I fallen short again in weeks days simply yesterday to be blown off for 'bad things' Wasn't it you who said you loved me? Wasn't it you who said yes when I asked if you would marry me? I guess I might've asked emptily for there is no ring no encore and no word from you even after you promised so here I am again voicing my strife to print off a retraction by tomorrow or make my list of grievances just a tad longer Do I hate this more than ever Do I hate this this is becoming a problem but my grey is becoming darker and darker What other color will I change before I evaporate completely... I once believed I had nothing else to lose for I've lost my mind for I've lost my heart for I've lost trust I've lost my ring I've lost so many friends I've lost my first love and so many others that followed I've lost all I can bear to lose... and Sunday's what it took to prove I have one thing left to lose...