Dave, who when his time came to retire
Thought he'd have a quiet life
But instead he soon discovered
That he had a nagging wife.
He acquired an allotment to pass the time
An hour or two of solitude out of the house.
A relaxing day in the summer sun.
Far away from the over bearing spouse.
Then one day he had a shock.
While relaxing with a cold beer.
In the distance, rolling down the path,
A nightmare come true, his worst fear.
His wife came ever closer.
Wearing a massive grin.
She put out her arms to greet.
And kissed him on the chin.
'I have come to help you'
She said with a smile.
'I will come here every day.
And be with you for a quite a while'
Now he did not fancy this one bit.
And tried gently to decline.
But his wife insisted. and said together
They must spend more time.
So he asked her 'what would you like to do.?'
'Oh just give me the spade.' she said.
So reluctantly he did as she asked
And brought the spade down on her head.
Then he dug a fresh new plot.
And buried her in the ground.
Her skill in the garden was proved true.
With a good harvest all year round.
But he was eventually caught.
And how was most absurd.
For his wife had the final say.
As always had the last word.
Of his fruit and veg Dave was proud
Set up a business, sold door to door.
Until somebody noticed something sprout.
It was not a spring onion they saw.
Dave goes over the day again and again.
As in his cell he lingers.
For what was seen poking out the ground.
Were two solitary green fingers.