Grandma's Pets

Grandma's Pets My granda went away to sea For many months on end He'd travel on a fishing boat With his brother and a friend He used to write home regularly And tell some quite tall tales About being in a far-away place When he was actually in Wales Once they actually went to Africa He wrote he was bringing Gran a pet When he came home with a small cage He'd brought her a marmoset He opened up the cage And up the curtains it did run The curtains tore, granda laughed, Grandma didn't think it fun She said it had to go So to the pet shop Granda went He returned without the Monkey And to ‘Coventry’ he was sent Granda apologised and said that he would compensate Next day he bought Gran Tip,a cat Bimbo, the budgie, feared its fate He'd run up and down his ladder And his cuttlefish he would gnaw He took one look at Tip and thought 'I've not seen you before' One day he pecked his bell so hard The clapper fell out onto the floor No matter how much he pecked it That bell would ring no more Bimbo, I’d known since a little girl He lived to a good age I still remember that fateful day I found him lifeless in his cage Tip lived till he was seven Many kittens he would father Mrs Thomas would bang on the door And get in a right lather “Your Tip's been paying visits To my precious tabby Pip. If you don't keep him in I'll see to it he has ‘the snip'” After Tip came Ruff the dog A cairn terrier with his papers We would laugh so many times At his little doggie capers There were two unbuttered teacakes Sitting on a plate Mum went to fetch the butter She came back to an empty plate Ruff was looking sheepish Crumbs all around his chin The cute expression on his furry face I could swear it was a grin We lost Ruff when he was eight Poison in his canned dog food If that had happened now The manufacturer we'd have sued Grandma put her foot down And told Granda “No more pets” She missed them all Well most of them But not the marmoset