Grains of Loss

Recall the bike trip to Tennessee Valley Remember the boat made of driftwood I held in my hand the salty wet sand How sand slips between fingers How much was lost since he was little When I was full of his helplessness When he was a toddler clumps fell As he grew into a boy and missed me less I felt the grains of sand slip through I envisioned him as a teenager So little left of in that hourglass As an adult in college, a little more fell If he is lucky to find someone to marry And his sand is held in someone’s hand Mine will have reduced to grains While my head grows frosty white I dusted off these empty, cracked hands Sticky pale sands between old fingers Back to the car with my son, took off my shoes Shook off the rocks and grains hidden in cracks I realize now losing is an illusion There’s always something holding on Each grain was a reminder to remind me Each precious moment is easily discarded Still, the salty sand held onto me A remainder of what is still here When childhood slips into manhood And I’m still holding on to the past To the memory of that bike ride To that boat that never floats Ever forgetting, ever lasting