While I thought you slept, I broke into your mansion to rob you.
I should have been shot on scene as a trespasser
With only the stain of my blood left to be scrubbed away,
But you fed me, clothed me, and gave great gifts to release me from need.
In the act, you caught me defiling your bride.
Your boiling anger should have overwhelmed and terrified me.
Strong hands of a passionate husband should have clenched around my neck.
Instead of strangling me, you embraced me as if I were your closest friend.
Why was I spared from the cross that I deserve?
Even now I feel the gaps in my hands where the nails were not.
Why do you sustain when you should decrease and destroy?
Each breath was stolen from the lungs of your son.
Why is forgiveness your desire, and not the exacting of revenge?
The gavel is in your hand and the charges against me are read.
Why, even more, am I the blessed traitor who was given clemency?
My actions deserve death, yet you pour treasure in my lap.
This seems overly ridiculous to all of my dull senses.
I'm confused by the stark contrast of my new fate.
Baffle me daily so that daily I beg for your guidance.
My intelligence is insufficient as eyes are to emit light.
Remind me constantly of the buffoon that I was
So I might be first to cry for mercy for others like me
Remind me consistently of how you relieved my immense debt
So my dread fear for the lives of my new friends might vanish
If I insolently stand against you in anything your will seeks
Maintain your compassion toward me and direct me back to your side
If I habitually abandon my post due to my sheer neglect
Find me again and discipline me in your swift grace
I am a low and foolish individual who mourns over my isolation.
You celebrate with your community of faithful followers.
Include me once more in the joys of your resounding favor,
And often prompt me to speak of you, who thwarted my plans.