Goodbye My Friend

It seems a life time ago since I said goodbye, so long had we been friends, you were always by my side. 12 years old when I introduced myself, we got on like a house on fire, you became a friend I was obsessed with, my only true desire. You took me to places, where there were others just like me, so many stories we shared, you let me be free. You made me do a lot of stupid things, you took away my fear, through out my whole life when I needed you, you were always there. Never judging, never yelling, you never ridiculed me, for with in your hold you slowed me down and let me really see. My mind is a constant battle field, but you always managed to calm me down, but only temporarily, because the anger in me you always found. When that came out no body was safe, beware my uncontrolled wrath, so much pain I held in side me, my actions mimicked my past. Such a bad influenced you were, it's just taking me 24 years to realize, having you in my life, was no way to survive. But it was only last year when your friendship, finally took it's toll, we were in a car crash, massive wreckage I was told. It wasn't the crash that effected me, it was what was in the car 10 Minutes before, all four of my children, My life, the ones I truly adore. For a week after that crash I was so depressed, reliving that endless night, what if my babies had still been in that car, they would have been killed alright. It was then I decided no more I could take, it's time for me to choose. So it's time to say goodbye my friend, because I don't choose you. (Sober 100 days today) M.Mahauariki © 21/01/2012