God Haunted House

Didn't know how to be in this God haunted house, I Mr imperfect: short sighted and tone deaf I saw things move as by a poltergeist, heard thuds as though a carpenter lived between floors. Speaking; I could not ask and hear. I'm sure she spoke but I wouldn't listen. I don't want to know about him; I want him I can't have placating words, I need love I can feel I know it in my bones but my flesh is all serpent like; Writhing in it's own oil spill of fear and greed needing a saving, cleanup operation I'm sure you want to; but I do not dare. I take a deep breath and look out of the window I see it's raining and almost trip as a I rush outside I hope that the rain itself is the tears of the one my heart seeks soaking; I cry myself; knowing his grief Freezing I know the loneliness of all of His I'm made one of them. I didn't know how to live in this God haunted house, I a son, a lover, the adulterer, the unfinished. I still wrestle with doubt in my darkness Panting; I worship silently, unworthily, Wrecked I feel the cross of the world wearing me I'm sure I can't live in this without the haunter...