God Bless the Tourists

Bloody streuth look out mate here they come The Tourists Downunder to have some fun Clickin’ their cameras, looking goggle eyed While out in the hot sun getting deep fried Askin’ for service and getting in our hair Makes you wonder if there really all there Thinkin’ it Spring in the middle of May Speakin’ foreign lingo, as they say G’Day Forget we’re multi-cultural and highly urbanized Give em the Aussie salute that the ads advertise Imports are out, the Aussie image wins Now here’s were your work it really begins Wear Moleskins, an Akubra, Drizabone Hide the credit cards and Bluetooth phone Cover the microwave, throw out Sarah Lee From now on its damper, pavolvas and billy tea Yack about the outback and the old pioneers Have a bush Barbie and down a few beers Quote a couple of verses from old Banjo Hobnob round the fire, put on a dinkum show Get out the four wheel and take em for a drive Never mention our crooks can eat you alive Ignore all the snakes, sharks, mozzies and the flies Crows flying backwards, and them peckin’ magpies Explain that kangaroos don’t hop down our streets Nor for breakfast do we bush tucker eats Throw a boomerang, take em to a corroboree Tell em the tour guides take care of the fee Bush dances are popular, and so is Uluru Dingoes, frilled lizards and wallaby stew Show em the Australia that we’ve never seen Mate tourists on nature are so bloody keen Let em hug a koala, they’re as cute as can be Just watch the bloody bastards don’t on em pee Before they go home, help them spend all their loot Then add departure tax, so they’re real destitute. Sing “Waltzing Matilda”, “Advance Australia Fair” In those tourist dollars, we all want to share This Aussie image to some may seem passé Mate you watch em flock here, what more can I say!