Give Yourself a Break

Give Yourself a Break Come on, it’s time. Give it a rest and stop beating yourself up about things that are over and done with when you know you did the best you could. He’s gone now and you miss him, and you think you were this, that or the other, not patient enough, you were selfish, you didn’t go on his walks with him and you let him go by himself sometimes when he had to struggle so to do it. You went out to a poetry group at night and left him when you should have stayed at home with him for company. You spent too much time with household chores and sometimes by yourself writing. He was the one with the health problems, trouble walking, falling sometimes when you weren’t there, and he never complained. Now you look back and blame yourself when you know, yes, you know, if you just allow yourself, that you did the best you could. It was years that you took care of him, encouraged him, helped him dressa and walk, put up the metal ramp when he went outside and wheeled him to the car, put the chair in the car, took him to appointments, got him into the wheelchair and reversed the way home. You washed him and changed the bed and cooked what he liked and watched television with him and really did give up things you loved to do and tried to get him to go out to events you thought he’d like. Yes, you could be short, maybe impatient sometimes, and said some things you wish you hadn’t said. Give yourself a break. You’re human and not perfect. Remember how many times he thanked you for all you did for him. Remember the good times - how many times you were gentle with him, tried to encourage him, hugged him and told him how much you loved him; the nights you came down in the night because he needed help, and you always told him you didn’t mind, that you’d go right back to sleep; hours and days sitting in the hospital waiting for him to get better enough to come back home again. So stop purposely wallowing in a misery of your own making and take back your good sense. Remember the love.