Full of Beans
"The scientific law of causality states every effect
(such as a fart)
has a cause
(such as beans for supper)."
-- beyond all Rational doubt
a deep Truth
to digest full
* * *
In a universe causal, alas,
no ass "free" is to choose to pass gas,
yet it still is a fact,
though I say it with tact --
every assh*le, alas, is an ass.
* * *
a dedication of Respect
for
the Pain of the vast masses of asses
who graduated Sunday school
on flunking Neuroscience 101
a revolving helios limerick satire menippean on
each faithful "free will" worshipper
free of Reason
april, 2023 -- the rhymester romantic yet fancying the existence of a free
"soul"
(with manifold farts full in support behind him)
. . .
fartnotes
Beans are generally good for the digestive system,
though in some folks, beans may cause stomach pain, bloating, and/or
farts to foully behave.
According to the Logical axiom of the excluded middle,
each fart either has a cause
(for example, one purposely farting due to a causal desire to prove some
Wise ass wrong)
or
does not have a cause
(for example, one randomly farting due to no cause whatsoever).
In either case,
one is not free to fart or not to fart."
-- the philosophical dilemma known as
"The Hard Deterministic Fart Melancholy"
In conclusion, no ass can be held responsible for his farts --
though one may causally choose to flat out not invite a flatulent ass out to
a romantic dinner for two.
Copyright © James Starkey Iii | Year Posted 2023
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