Fruit Leather

You bite that apple! Give it a go, put on a show There is no shame You said shame is a sham And clams are happy Do they hop or skip? Tripping along the seafloor Playing hopscotch Eating numbers like cookies Chips Ahoy! Sleeve after sleeve One arm at a time Your hands on my clock Move a little too fast But I like the whiplash Goodbye bad reviews Goodbye balding backlash Don’t forget to pump your gas You’ll need that later It’s a surprise! Happy little accidents Like birthdays spent in jail Mail with the wrong address Bumper stickers on my bosom Peach blossoms assaulting And salting slugs Digging a pit With a single blackberry Chairs made of cherrywood And cedar Dressed as a Caesar salad With croutons on the side At the request of Brutus Who now makes boomerangs And yells “Fling!” But he put my arm in a sling Made of fruit leather Do you find that Hard to swallow? I asked about Peter’s cottontail And instead, I was gifted A lucky rabbit’s foot Dipped in grape juice The foot was stuck in a fence In my defense, I bargained With the spaghetti gods To let it run free But it wouldn’t run to me So I skipped away slowly And found a pond Made of citrus potions I drew a huge breath in “Aaaahhhhh…” A loser of a lemon A melon of a car I swear the spokes Never spoke to me But my cousin’s husband Swore his muffler Muttered something strange “Give that dog a bone!” Strange because he Didn’t have a dog Or a cat, or a fish, Or a parakeet He had an iguana Named Juno the Prince Such regality To that lizardman That dino who lived Within a miniature desert The sand was choco dust And the solitary rock Was always the place to be I preferred to live In peach pits Without the flesh and fuzz You used to be fresh And fruity-tooty Like applejacks and Lime jello from the pack Someone said you’d gone sour So I had to taste for myself When I tried to bite into you I turned into a termite What would you know about that? I told you “You’re barking up the wrong tree.” Of course the oak Didn’t have the maple sauce Or the apricot jelly It did have a carving The letters “F” and “U” Carved skillfully together I just ate that up All of the romance The lovey-dovey Heart to heart Tasted like pomegranate Seeds stuck in my teeth I always liked spitting How far? To the moon and back I chewed up the stars To feel the fizzle It didn’t phase me When I got burned Because pineapple is better With a char on the grill I gave you A housewarming plant A crunchy cactus Whose spines were slippery Slick with silver And slivers of steel Did you want to steal me away? Just don’t tip the cows Unless it’s above twenty percent And look at you go Man, you are really milking this Save some milkweed For the monarchs Charles might need it You could run to him The perfect pear Food for fuel? I guess you could try You bite that apple!