Fraught as an extremely socially anxious younger person

Fraught as an extremely socially anxious younger person... hashtagged introvertedness trademark silently exorcised, ostracized, and vilified Impossible mission to resuscitate... a forsaken promising (even short lived) friendship regardless of expressed gender exhibited by other persons from yesteryear. When trying to jump/kick start lapsed meaningful interpersonal connections from much earlier in my life absence of a spark to kindle once upon a time valuable linkedin treasured bond bereft of dynamism. Folly entertained courtesy yours truly bafflingly, desperately, and futilely grasped elusive chimera sabotaging rare occasion, when fate smiled benignly, I botched, damned, forfeited... overarching golden opportunity to experience sustained positive rapport with compatible lass or lad to accompany me thru travails or buzzfeeding a "lost" boy with words of encouragement. Now as an emotionally freighted Unitarian, sexagenarian, nonestablishmentarian, omnivore psychologically perturbed, rankled, tortured, vexed bully me I got repeatedly severely traumatized similarly hectored by parents issuing threatening ultimatums no surprise I surrendered to proclivity when showered with affection courtesy consensual sexual intimacy (minus the use of birth control) eventually married the gal, whose child I helped beget these last twenty seven and a half years to a woman, (who after numerous illicit marital transgressions) forgave her leftist write minded husband, regarding his lascivious, promiscuous, and salacious engagements though would not tolerate (understandably, necessarily, logically) even platonic female relationships, nevertheless does unconditionally accept him mental health issues, and all told comprise obsessive compulsive behavior, anxiety/panic attacks palmar hyperhidrosis, considerably alleviated courtesy nine prescription medications Aetna Medicare Advantra picks up the tab without any co-pay. I cannot help but wince with twenty twenty hindsight smarts, nurse misgivings and hanker with shutterflying, recurring, plaguing melancholy where passivity punctuated the first two decades of mein kampf.