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forlorn ice slit bedroom

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Below is the poem entitled forlorn ice slit bedroom which was written by poet Gerard Keogh Jr.. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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forlorn ice slit bedroom

Haiku  Straying Husband

forlorn ice slit bedroom
frail flower between your legs...
ardor expires

Tanka   Stay At Home Wife

hours ravage ardor
supple sin envelopes grey
thick belly obscures
erotic athletes wrestle
loyalty in lieu of love

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  1. Date: 3/14/2011 5:54:00 AM
    Congratulations on your win Gerard in Debbie Guzzi's contest "Love Talks". Love, Carol

  1. Date: 3/14/2011 5:08:00 AM
    You took something sad and added beauty and humor to it.. Congratulations Gerard on your win, love Wilma

  1. Date: 3/13/2011 8:56:00 PM
    Wow Gerard. Nice to see you at the top. Warm congrats.

  1. Date: 3/13/2011 6:00:00 PM
    Congratulations on winning in Deb's contest. This is an interesting matching of haiku and tanka. Unfortunately, many relationships break down into something like this.

  1. Date: 3/13/2011 1:00:00 PM
    Beautiful job, Gerard, it is wonderful to see you at the top with this worthy honor in Sixth place honorable win, Agaape, Moses

  1. Date: 3/13/2011 12:33:00 PM
    Congrats to you on your win. This was sad and funny too.BG

  1. Date: 3/13/2011 11:51:00 AM
    a well deserved win for the contest, gerard.. BIG CHEERS TO YOU! :) huggs, nette

  1. Date: 3/13/2011 11:43:00 AM
    Congratulations on the sixth place win in the contest of Debbie, Gerard

  1. Date: 3/12/2011 7:27:00 PM
    Congrats Gerard on your super win in Love Talk contest my friend with this awesome dialogue between the lovers luv.. hope all is well now in your life luv... enjoy.. and keep in touch please....

  1. Date: 3/12/2011 4:08:00 PM
    So happy to see your poem in the winners' circle, Gerard! Come and do the dance of joy. Congratulations. Love, Carolyn

  1. Date: 3/12/2011 3:51:00 PM
    I kind of thought Deb would really like this one. Congratulations on a well deserved win, Gerard.

  1. Date: 3/10/2011 8:25:00 AM
    This is a terrific entry Dear poet ! This write fills the brain Gerard ! Get rid of that period, and this write will go some where ! *smiles* Have a great day Sir....much love, james

  1. Date: 3/8/2011 12:40:00 PM
    After a couple ha been together for years, the ardor is often replaced by loyalty. Not a bad thing really. There's a lot of truth in this amazing poem, Gerard. Wishing you success in Deb's contest. Love, Carolyn

  1. Date: 3/8/2011 6:36:00 AM
    me still sees a period!!

  1. Date: 3/7/2011 10:56:00 PM
    Oh,my, this one I found humorous (in a way that only the older folks can appreciate). I think neither one of us was doing real love talk with ours. hahaha. (just sick of love talk!) Sure hope this one does well and thanks for your kind comments. I enjoy your poetry mucho!

  1. Date: 3/7/2011 6:49:00 PM
    Remembering Judy Collins singing "I've looked at life from both sides now" . Creative. Vince

  1. Date: 3/7/2011 6:06:00 PM
    Very creative and interesting messages on both the sides with apt images, Gerard. A sure winner,

  1. Date: 3/7/2011 6:04:00 PM
    ALL good Underdog JUST [remove the period naughty! HM said NO periods in haiku] ;) VERY good entry! Light & Love

  1. Date: 3/7/2011 4:56:00 PM
    Interesting work..Good luck in the contest with this different approach..Sara